I've never been able to reject as much as got when I entered college. every state university that i want refused me, one of them accepted me and after the test again, it refused me, all of them refused me. I'm depressed, very depressed. I really feel dead. my mother added to me which made me more depressed by scolding me because there was no one state university that accepted me. my hopes have gone out of town, far from parents, learning to live independently, gone. when many of my classmates in senior igh school entered state universities, I cried for my fate because I didn't enter the state university.

my life changed after I entered a private university. in the creepy department, civil engineering. where the contents of 70% are men. it's not that creepy, but the subjects, lecturers and practices are creepy. the technical world is not for spoiled children. true people say, don't enter the engineering department if you don't have a mental, lol! It is true.

I’m like a man, I am close to a lot of men, many have male friends, and I have a mentality that begins to form to be a resilient human being, even though not yet fully. but honestly, actually it's not comfortable for me, where I am a feminine woman.

I did not enjoy the 3+year of college life comfortably. because I don't like being there. but I was lucky, many helped me in attending the lesson in college. I also joined the organization in the form of the most core organization on for my college majors. yes, it's not too bad to be here. moreover, in campus i entered the student executive body, and I also joined the student association struggled, in other words, it's not like we usually do a joint task, this time lessons that I can take while here. while working on my final project I really alone. even though some help, but in the end they themselves will also be responsible.

now, at the end of my college years, I just waiting for graduation and then strugling for a job. but in my heart there is still a hope, that one day I will study at a favorite state college like them, friends, and people who underestimate me. aamiin.